Why Not The Worst

School's Out for Summer

2006-06-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

Although it isn't my favorite song by Alice Cooper (I prefer "No More Mister Nice Guy"), but it still expresses what will happen in less than twenty four hours. I'm going out on a low note (Goff is my last final), but alas, that will make me feel all the more relieved when I realize I don't have to think for another four monthes (not that our summer vacation is only three monthes long). So what will I do over my break?
Five things:

1) Football. We have football practice every weekday and most Saturdays throughout summer. I play right tackle on our Junior Varsity team, and I full well expect to start this year. I have gotten much faster since last year, and the tight end and I work really well together.

2) Band. I am in a rock band, the Gods of Rock, with Ian McNee, Chris Benham, and Kole Newberry. Kyle Peterson also plays with us alot. We pretty much just mess around for half the practice, but we meet once a week and most of us are pretty good. Gods of Rock.

3) Halo 2. Duh. I play more Halo2 than most people play all video games combined, and I dont even own a XBOX.

4) C++. My friend Brandon Reeves and I are currently learning C++ code, as we plan to make a video game before we leave high school. We want to make an Real Time Strategy game, much like Warcraft 3, but we recently discovered that they are REALLY hard to make. So we will probably start with a pokemon rip off, as 150 pages into my book (a really nice book by Micheal Dawson) I think i could program some basic stuff with crappy graphics.

5) Movie. Because my friends and I are geeks, we decided to redo the Star Wars movies, I-VI. I'm Anakin/ Darth Vader, and probably Jabba the Hutt too.

I'll also do some student council stuff, but who cares about that.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Numa Numa

2006-06-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

"Numa Numa" is a song by Romanian pop-singers O-zone. This internet phenomenon, popularized by the horrible dancing of one Gary Broslma, who enthusiastically lip synchs to the song on his webcam. This has caused many spin-off videos, my favorite of which is the crew of the CS6 USS Enterprise CNV-65 dancing along. This is the version I favor because:

1) It has the entire song.

2) It opens with the Halo main theme and closes with "Smooth Criminal," a song which more and more seems ironic to come from someone who is (allegedly) a criminal.

3) It has Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

I listen to it, and know it is a foriegn language, and that the translations suck, but I still find myself trying to rationalize the song with english words. Anyway, here is the video, and below it my own lyrics that make little to no sense, in any context, but do kind of sound like the song lyrics, so that's a plus.

My, a he
My, a who
My, a ha
My, a ha-ha
My, a he
My, a who
My, a ha
My, a ha-ha
My, a he
My, a who
My, a ha
My, a ha-ha
My, a he
My, a who
My, a ha
My, a ha-ha

Hello
Say, Luke
Sierra und, Count Duke
She's alone
You'll be the man that masters fetticino
A low, A low
Sit Nare here, Picasso
And I'll be
Forever shiek
And that sh** reeks
Man, I'm a geek

That's okay, though, cause I am not gay
Cause I am not gay
Because I am not a gay
People there say that I am not gay
Now the best think that I'm not gay
That's okay, though, cause I am not gay
Cause I am not gay
Because I am not a gay
People there say that I am not gay
Now the best think that I'm not gay

And soon, the spoon
Will think, racoon
Hello, You'll be the man that masters fetticino
Hello, Hello
Sit marichino Picasso
And I'll be
Forever shiek
And that sh** reeks
Man, I'm a geek

[Captain Jean-Luc Picard]

Raise a blinder, cause I am not gay
Cause I am not gay
Because I am not a gay
People there say that I am not gay
Now the best think that I'm not gay
Raise a blinder, cause I am not gay
Cause I am not gay
Because I am not a gay
People there say that I am not gay
Now the best think that I'm not gay

My, a he
My, a who
My, a ha
My, a ha-ha
My, a he
My, a who
My, a ha
My, a ha-ha
My, a he
My, a who
My, a ha
My, a ha-ha

And when I think, that I am not gay
Cause I am not gay
Because I am not a gay
People there say that I am not gay
Now the best think that I'm not gay
And when I think, that I am not gay
Cause I am not gay
Because I am not a gay
People there say that I am not gay
Now the best think that I'm not gay

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

A Rose By Any Other Name

2006-05-31T17:36:00.000-07:00

"To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether it is nobler in mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep no more."

This famous question was posed by Hamlet, a character in William Shakespeare's play of the same name. Many people attribute this quote to a man who wrote of love, betrayal, of comedy and tragedy. I attribute this quote to a dead man.

I think I am better than Shakespeare. In fact, I think I am better than all dead people, with a few exceptions. I think I am better for the simple reason that I still have a chance at immortality. See, I am not better than Jesus. He is god. I am not (yet), and therefore he has a one up on me. Dead people cannot achieve immortality (except through mushy "their name lives on forever" things), so I have the advantage of being able, however small the chance, to find eternal life.

The second poem we had to write was and ego trip. I started off doing that, fell asleep for an hour, completely forgot what the assignment was, and punched this out:

Mister Irrelevant

I walk, leaving no footprints
I talk, leaving no echo
I touch, leave no mark
I creep, leaving no witness
I love, leaving no heartbreak
I eat, leaving no breadcrumbs
I work, leaving no sweat stains
I flee, leaving no assassin
I die, leaving no one to cry

I walk, going no where important
I talk, giving no information
I touch, felling nothing but empty
I creep, although I can’t make a sound
I love, although I find none in return
I eat, getting no food for thought
I work, getting paid to do nothing
I flee, running anywhere but here
I live, having nothing to die for

You can kind of see it start out egotistical, than spiral into just a negative. I'm cool like that.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

I'm a Poet, and I Didn't Even Know....

2006-05-30T19:30:00.000-07:00

How to rhyme. Recently, in my favorite class, Mrs. Ochoa's (duh), we had the pleasure of writing poems.

When I heard the words "poetry", I broke out my pocket rhymebook, noting that a mispronounciated doorhinge sounds suspiciously close to an equally mispronounciated orange, and sat with my pen of god quivering over my paper. Then Mrs. Ochoa layed the grounds for the poem: "I don't give minimum lengths, but as honors students you should write at least 16 lines per poem" (this brought up a twenty minutes discussion as people asked a bunch of pointless 'what-ifs', exploring how leniant she was with the 16 line rule), "and it may be in freeverse". I don't much care for freeverse, mainly because it's name is misleading. I thought freeverse meant something to the effect of not having to have equally sized verses, or that you could download your poems off the internet ONLY if it was free. Upon the discovery of 'freeverse' actually not needing to rhyme, I begin to feel (or, more likely, I expounded upon pent up) indignation. I don't like this "not having to rhyme" propaganda. It just takes the suspense out of the rhyme, I think off Seinfield, which goes:

Bum buh bum buh bum buh bum buh bum
Some men go to college
We think they are wussies
Cause they get all the knowledge
We get all the ...
Bum buh bum buh bum buh bum buh bum!

Anywho, upon the discovery that we didn't have to rhyme I pushed aside my premade Holocaust poem (a 5 page long essay I did in 4th grade), and punched out the four asigned poems...

The first poem, which I would like to preface with this link, is titled 'Ode to a Science Teacher' and is a parody of William Shakespeare's poem 'My Mistresses' Eyes', which goes:

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red:
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound.
I grant I never saw a goddess go:
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

My remix goes:

Robert is far more wise than Goff is wise
If brains be large, why then Goff’s head is naught
If books be teachers, books collect dust here
I have seen ISAT preps and lecture notes
But no such papers I see in class
And in some video games there be more taught
Than in his class room, where brains go to rot
I love to him insult, yet well I know
That I may soon to detention go
And I’ll admit I have never been wrong
When talking black hole, there explanations wrong
And yet, I can see, that bad it might be
Nothing can top Ochoa’s misery

Tomorrow I'll discuss why Shakespeare sucks and why I rock at live, as will as reveal my second poem.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Sir Mix-a-Lot

2006-05-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

I have recently gotten really into Sir Mix-a-Lot. I am not really sure. Nothing has changed really, but my palette has un-explainidly expanded. It isn't just Baby Got Back, either. Although it remains my favorite, I also enjoy the likes of almost everything off his album "Mack Daddy". Due to the fact I am lazy, however, I will end with the lyrics from Baby Got Back...

[Intro]
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big. *scoff*
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *ughhhhhh*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back)[4x]

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Halo... Because It isn't Hard Enough to Get a Date Yet

2006-05-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

Halo 2 is a video game, released by Bungie Software, that expands upon the first-person shooter Halo: Combat Evolved by adding features like XBOX Live support, dual-weilding weapons, and multiple weapon changes. Of course, if you didn't know this you probably spend life under a rock. Either that or you do not possess the technology needed to read this post.

Anywho, in recent weeks I have been accused of being addicted to Halo 2. It is probably true, but it also makes for a good post.

There are some basic signs of addiction to Halo. I got some of these from various sites, some from my friends, and some I just came up with:

1.When your teacher enters the room you shout DEMON! and melee them to death with a pencil.

2.When you hear you are going to the library you bring your shotgun.

3.You run out of the bathroom yelling "The bomb is planted" knowing everyone in the vicinity will die anyway.

4.You steal the flag at a golfcourse and jump into a cart and yell "GO!GO!GO!"

5.When the weatherman says a flood is coming you grab a shotgun.

6.When uou are in a fight and someone throws sand in your eyes you yell "noob combo!"

7.You are constantly checking for snipers, and never stand still.

8.When you need pen at exam, you tell your teacher you are going to retrieve the ink launcher.

9.Everytime you go to dinner and pick up a fork you see in the corner of you eye "press X to switch for knive" and press "Y to duel weild"

10.You find yourself bringing a volleyball into your sibling's room, staying for five seconds, then running out screaming "IT'S ARMED!!"

11.When you write an essay and your pen runs out of ink you start bashing the essay with the back of the pen.

12.You throw rocks at people and yell STUCK! at the top of your lungs.

13.When you're in a large crowd of people your grenade finger twitches.

14.When you show up at school or work you groan "I hate this map!"

15.You don't understand why a single hit to the back doesn't slaughter your opponents.

16.You refer to anyone you dont like as "the Heretic."

17.You won't go near any one wearing a different colored shirt.

18.When your fat friend comes up to you and your other friend you say "Look arbiter, the hunters have come to our aid!"

19. Whenever you lose a race you complain that the other person "has host".

These jests are understood almost exclusively by those who play Halo, particularly on XBOX Live.

Another sign is recurrent use of the slang "mod", literally short for modify. My friends and I have recently have discovered that mod can take the place of almost any verb, as long as you add a few adjectives or prepositions. For instance, "I ate" would be "I modded my food". "Hurry up" could be "Mod your velocity faster" or, simple "mod your speed higher".

Mod out

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Why I Won (Because It is SUCH a Big Secret)

2006-05-18T20:17:00.000-07:00

I decided to take a break from my axis of nicht so gut talking in order to lay down why I won this year's class election. Mainly this is me pandering for a better Google positions (I'm 21 for Student Council President Campaign Ideas Tips, 13 for sophomore class president speeches, and 25 for... *ugh* stuco slogans), but I feel it is my duty to better equip my opponents for next year. It was, quite frankly, WAY too easy. Like shooting the slow-learning fish, with flaming arrows, in a barrel of magnesium. As such, in a selfless attempt to have next year ammuse me better, I will post the limited knowledge of Freshman psychology needed to obtain the office I hold today.

First, know the voting style. For instance, in our school, there was a four vote format. This meant that it is more advantagous to be 150 people's number three vote, compared to being 30 people's number one. It also meant that, in all likelihood, the average voter would know one or two people running, so if you were known you would get elected (aka a popularity contest). It became my goal then, not to prove to others that I was better than my opponents, but to prove to others I was RUNNING against opponents. As more and more people knew I was running they could decide to vote for me. This is the main reason why only two people are really in the running for United States President at any given time; the average person can only name the two, much less like another enough to vote his way. If you are stuck in a situation where people get one vote each, your approach is simple; any guy running will win. The girls will split the female vote, and enough guys will vote your way just out of loyalty to the Y chromosome. If, by chance, two guys run, convince the other boy to drop out of the race and run next year. Then use your presidential powers to have him killed (not really; the president doesn't have any power). Also, spend as little time as you can around your friends. They will vote for you anyway, there is no need to furthur provoke them.

Second, it is important to understand and speak to your audience. The humor vote will get you elected once; after that your audience will want something... well, different. I don't know what yet, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you (unless you asked nicely). All in all it is safe to go with humor, but try as much as possible to link yourself to famous people. I, for instance, went with John F Kennedy. I will probably use the slogan next year "I wasn't assinated last year; give me a second chance, won't you?" A sucker bet is to fall into the trap of associating yourself with advertisements (e.g. "Get your own reps" or "Just vote it").

I'll tell you more later (but that just means that I probably will forget to, or be too bored).

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Axis of Nicht So Gut- Part One

2006-05-17T14:31:00.000-07:00

Upon popular request (popular meaning no one said not to) I have decided to compile and explain me modern day Axis of EVIL!!!, so as not to cause confusion...

First, the Axis members:
Feminism
Benham
Cheese Nips
Commandment numbers one, five, and eight
Mrs. Ochoa
CostCo on anyday except Saturday

My enemies are numerous, but my war will last until someone is actually affected for the worse. If I can make one person's day just a little worse, well then, I have done my job.

My first adversary is more of an ideal then a person. Feminist have been a nuisance for me since I started trying to talk more and more bluntly. First, in October, my English class started discussions about the differences between men and women. I like to think that I am fair-minded (then again, that probably shows how prejudicial my mind is), and so I casually mentioned how women have never been able to compete with men athletically, with NO exceptions. This, for some reason, upset my female co-eds. I then relayed how in sports like tennis, a girl has not beet one of the top fifty men in... well, ever. The same applies to women in golf never making a cut, and women in weightlifting, where the heaviest women cannot compete with the lightest males. Since then, I have been in many occasions where a white lie would have been preferable to the truth.

Benham is quite simply the guy everyone loves to hate. As the bass guitar member of our band, it is requisite that he comes off as society's reject and, as such, I find myself obligated to say that it is his "disregard for rules and property that cause him to have no productive future". In truth though, he isn't bad... Not like

Cheese Nips. Cheese Nips are deceptively square, just like the ultimate gaming food, Cheez-its, and can be luring with their promise of salty goodness. What do you get for this purchase though? A over-cheesed and under salted atrocity thats only purpose is to lie, cheat, and, if they can, kill you and your family. What can we do to combat this threat you ask? Start spelling cheese with a "z" is the most obvious, but this has to go further. We should boycott any song with the term "Nip", as in "nip 'em in the bud", in particular this "Ganksta Nip" character.

I'll cover my last three tomorrow... What mysteries lie behind the face of granite written by God?

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Ode to a Science Teacher

2006-05-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

Despite my ragging, I have recently discovered that Goff is not the worst person in the world. He is officially off my Axis of Nicht So Gut (German for "Not So Good") to be replaced with Mrs. Ochoa

Recently we (being my honors English class) had to do a project that dealt with the connections and relationships. I'm not sure how that relates to English, but I would NEVER second guess a teacher, ever. Anywho, in this report we had to get pictures and quotes dealing with five of the six types of relationships; Parents, Siblings, Friends, Adversaries, Lovers, and Mentors. The first draft I made was one indented to make my teacher mad, using Goff as my mentor. Upon further review I begin to think that he can be considered a mentor, but, as per status quo, Mrs. Ochoa prefers to act hypocritical.

That is to say, Mrs. Ochoa tends to tell me that she likes me; that while "everybody she talked to" has said I would do badly as a president, she insists they give me a chance. All the while she assumes everything I say to be a joke, and even rational, well thought out comments have been overlooked because they seem to "draw attention to me". I will be the first to admit that eighty percent of the things I write or say should not be taken seriously, but even those statements have some ground in logical reasoning, just exaggerated to make the difference more noticeable.

So, after submitting my completed, satirical paper to Ochoa I began to think of the ways to BS my way through an explanation. First I thought of just ignoring it and asking for a B, after she took out the offending slide. Then I began warping my paradigm (presidents should use the word paradigm at least once a day) to facilitate Goff being a mentor. I looked at the positive things he taught us. First, I looked for anything that actually had to do with Earth Science that he might have taught me, however, I soon found that I either knew the curriculum before I walked into class or I figured it out from the questions in the textbooks. Then I expanded my view to include things that had to do with attitude that he taught me; this was a much more beneficial search.

When we first arrived at Goofy Goff's class we talked about an idea he had called Freshman Clubs, an assignment that would fulfill the school's new cross subject project the administration loaded onto us. He, being the brilliant mind he is, told us to think of things we really love. He then related to us the kayaking story and told us to base it off that. Goff also taught us to be able to laugh at ourselves. He may be eccentric, and a geek, and he may have a name that, when spell backwards, would make his wife (Mrs. Goff) look like a virus (ffog.srm? Com'mon, if I ever decide to start mass internet fraud THAT is my name), but he will be the first one to tell you that. Actually, the second; despite his creativity, he doesn't have enough free time to think of ffog.srm (pronounced ef-fog-dot-es-are-em).

Back to my point, that when we heckle Goff for going out on a limb and assigning us odd skits, we should remember that at least he isn't asking us what the tree represents, and for that he is ok.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Speech of DOOM!!!- Conclusion

2006-05-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

And now for the finally of the Speech of DOOM!!! segment, a delve into the madness from which my speech was spawned.

But first, the setting:

My decision to run for Student Council was not one of well thought out planning; I more or less did it on a whim. Sure, I want to get into the Naval Academy, and Student Council is a good way to do that, but more over the decision was based on me having some great campaign ideas and the knowledge that student government is should probably look at the actual speech line by line...

Hello. My name is Robert Kennedy. I am in 9^th grade, and I am running for Sophomore Class Presidency. My candidate number is 3.

This was the required opening to the speech. Actually, funny story, the first of two attempts by me to recite my speech turned out something like "Hello. My name is Robert Kennedy. As a "newbie" to the office of.... Oh, shoot. Ohhhh Kay.... yeah".

I am a “Newbie” to the organization known as Student Council, and as such I believe I will be able to shed new light on this otherwise dank office.

This was my thesis statement, one thrown in to meet thte "tell them what you are going to tell them" requirement. My idea of how to make the speech funny was a simple "relate to the audience" tactic.

I hope to be able to incorporate some knowledge and lessons that I have picked up in classes to help me while in the office. For instance, in Seminary, I have been taught memorization skills and patience. In Global with Misbach we learn to tolerate people’s ideas and background, as everyone has a way to contribute in society. In Multi Sport I have learned discipline, the type needed to keep myself in the Herculean shape I keep up today. Goff.... well.... Goff taught us.... this is a hard one.... Goff taught us.... how to color... I’m sure that will help.

I chose to organize via periods of the day, first one first, second second, so on and so forth. Anyway, my first two classes I was serious through. My seminary class I used to connect with my Mormon voters (a high percent of the Boise, Idaho population. I then went to moved to PE, and flexed as I said "Herculean," which, due to my mass-aggresive body type, caused a size-able laugh from my class mates. My last statement was "harsh", but I'm not sure why. I should preface by saying that the teacher in question, Sam Goff, is an Earth science teacher at Mountain View who is best described as... eccentric. He often thinks of theoretically awesome ideas which, do to logistics and people not sharing his enthusiam, are usually reduced to mockably uncoordinated events. He has, however, orginaized some really successful kayaking events (see here and here). The actual man is self described as having "hard skin" so I was surprised when he seemed genuinely hurt by my comments. He said, upon my coming into the room "You know, you are an asshole".

From math I gain confidence of knowing I am the best. German has taught me “Ich bin eine Katze” on more than one occasion. Freshmen Success taught me the meaning of an “Easy A Class”, while I leave Ochoa’s class everyday knowing that “to kill a mockingbird is a sin” and “A drunk on a planet is not a drunk on a planet.” Yeah.... Right.

Everyone in the school knows that I am smart. I am smarter than they are, and often I am smarter than the teachers (if not in thier field, than in some ways). Math, however, is one of my strongest points. While in geometry, a year behind the "smartest" freshman, I got a 292 on the math ISATs. This put me at top Freshman, falling 4 points behind a sophomore in pre-calc. "Ich bin eine Katze" means "I am a cat", and is probably a rip-off of many things, most intentionally Mayor Quimbe on "The Simpsons". Freshman Success is a class that has many times been expressed as "a way to give the head basketball coach a job" but is, more correctly, a class in which you learn study habits, financial tips, and career options that will help you SUCCEED in life. Ochoa is our English teacher, who often asks students what something "really represents", and is quoted as saying (referencing the drunkard in The Little Prince) "The drunk guy on the planet is not a drunk guy on a planet", despite my contridictions...

So, whether it is confidence or coloring, I have learned a lot and, as such, I can be a contributing member of Student Council. I would like to conclude with the immortal words of Nelson Muntz, who once said “I am Iron Man. Dadadadadadada Vote for Me.”

The closing was brilliant, however, due to the abbundance of others singing, was made somewhat less funny. It did, however, make a nice end to a great campaign.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Random Friday Post with no Thesis

2006-05-12T18:51:00.000-07:00

I won. You can't face it now, you never will. I simply outplayed and, overall, out thought my opponents. Why? It isn't because I'm retarded. It isn't because I hate you (you being anyone) (except Benham). It's because I have been to many different schools, and I am smart enough to realize that everyone falls into a maybe one of three different catigories. You may say you're unique, but that is because you, like everybody, are an idiot. I'm an idiot. Amanda (love ya) is an idiot. Stephan Hawking is an idiot. People are idiots.

Anywho, I would like feedback. For some reason I probably pissed people off. I don't know why. I am an idiot. But we already covered that...

I would like suggestions of what to do next year, both when I run and when I lead, and, if possible, I would like anyone who hates me to tell me why. Guys will do it, girls it is a hit and miss.

Here is a story of the difference between guys and girls:Say, hypothetically, I hated Benham. I would go up to Benham, tell him I hate his cocky SoB attitude, and maybe sock him in the face/stomach. Again, hypothetically, say a girl (we will call her Amanda, for the sake of the story) hated Chris. She might seem perfectly friendly toward him and then, possibly, she might suddenly stop letting him sit next to her in a talent show.This is what happens to guys on a daily basis.

Here's a completely made up story that better illustrates the point from Dave Barry or Scott Adams, I don't know. One day a girl and a boy, Jenny and Greg, are driving in a car. Jenny says to Greg "You know, we have been together for three months, I want to know where we are."The guy thinks to himself, "Has it already been three months? Oh yeah, that was when I last changed my oil. I need to change that again."The girl, completely misreading his face, thinks he is scared that she is asking for commitment and decides to stop talking. Later that week, after spending hundreds of hours talking to her friends, analyzing every conversation, Jenny tells Greg that they have to seperate so she can "ride free on her horse".Three months later Greg asks his friend if Jenny had a horse.

But what did I start off talking about... Oh yeah, I won. Go me.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Speech of DOOM!!!- Autopsy

2006-05-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the short post yesterday, but procrastination caught up to me...

In the second of three speech related articles, we look at the four house of speech:

The "serious". A usual runner's speech, this covers the "what can I do for you?" These are generally boring, as many people want to achieve the same thing. The big issue this year was a recently installed speed bumb which seems to be five feet high. False and unobtainable campaign promises usually come from this sort of speech.
Pros: Generally serious, this speech will not screw your campaign.
Con: This move does not suffiecently draw attention to yourself, also if you do things like mumble and look at your paper this can cause for some bad pre-vote image.

The "shortie". This is the speech all non-serious people say they would give, a 30 second long "Hi, I'm Robert Kennedy. Vote for Me." Although your friends may apprieciate this gesture, people may just plain miss out on it.
Pros: Generally funny, you will gan the vote from your friends.
Cons: Again, not enough facetime. Also, this epitomizes the lazy runner.

The "musical". Ouch. This is a touchy subject for the girls in my class. So, without names, an explanation. The musical is a speech in which you use rhyme or rhythm to catch your audience's attention. When done well this is one of the most effective forms of speech. However, you will generally get one "serious" line and one sacrificed for the rhyme scheme. My example:
If you vote for me, meteors will fall
And I'll also try, to pick up the hall
And then ill get better food for the vending machine
And in 4 more months I'm turning sixteen
I'll paint the boys bathroom, cause now it is ugly orange
And maybe I'll go to Home Depot and buy a door hinge.
Pros: Done well, you will be remembered.
Cons: If the entire ballet does it, you won't get voted for.

And the "joker". This was my category. You use cheesy jokes in an attempt to be the lesser of seven evils, so that people will vote for you with thier third vote.
Pros: Funny, people will congratulate you in the halls.
Cons: This strategy will only work once. Eventually your class will want to see what it is like to have a serious president.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Senior Class President

Speech of DOOM!!!

2006-05-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

The last thing our voters would see before they voted was our speech, and that is were I shined.

Look, I'm tired. Here's my speech:

Hello. My name is Robert Kennedy. I am in 9^th grade, and I am running for Sophomore Class Presidency. My candidate number is 3.

I am a “Newbie” to the organization known as Student Council, and as such I believe I will be able to shed new light on this otherwise dank office.

From math I gain confidence of knowing I am the best. German has taught me “Ich bin eine Katze” on more than one occasion. Freshmen Success taught me the meaning of an “Easy A Class”, while I leave Ochoa’s class everyday knowing that “to kill a mockingbird is a sin” and “A drunk on a planet is not a drunk on a planet.” Yeah.... Right.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

STUCK

2006-05-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

Ah... too much Halo 2...

As my second operation to capture the throne seemed inevitable, I needed some innovation. Unfortunately, I didn't have any pot. This caused for a few seconds of scrambling, followed by the obligatory plagiarism of others ideas. First I noted that many people were passing out mailing labels (Avery 30 sheet... the perfect crime) and calling them stickers. I then noted that the person who won ASB had passed out snap on bracelets which then were found out, probably by idiots, to be great weapons. I had to combine the two, however, and I was too lazy. So I decided to buy pens and put stickers on them.

Six boxes of forty-eight pens (that is 288, for those unwilling to open up their calculator program) put me back twenty dollars at Office Depot... ok though, less than T-shirts or iron-on paper. After securing the needed supplies, I moved to create bite-sized slogans. I used my non-creativity to clone my first posters "Mongastric. Bipedal. Carbon Based. Robert Kennedy." and then continued off the Kennedy route for two of my four "stickers". The first of these two was a picture of JFK's head with the catch phrase "Robert Kennedy. He is like John F Kennedy. But with better hair." This is important in politics, as illustrated here:

"I'm taking my time and weighing all the factors," said a retired toll booth operator from West Virginia. "I mean, Kerry is taller, but Bush definitely has the better hair. Tallness is good, but good hair lets the rest of the world know that we mean business. After 9/11, we need to think of these things."

I not only have better hair, but I was the taller than JFK (I don't know how tall he was, but I'm guessing. It makes sense). My second Kennedy sticker and third over-all was my label which proclaimed "He isn't President Kennedy. But he will be soon." I knew I was going to win, but... meh. I'll write about that Thursday or Friday.

My final sticker was a simple design with a football bouncing on the right, while on the left it read "Robert Kennedy. All his opponents are girls." True, yet just non-insulting enough not to get in trouble. I rock.

Next is my controversial speech. You won't want to miss out on that.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President

Life as a Great Leader..

2006-05-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

I mean... President.

Recently, I, Robert Kennedy, was elected as "Sophomore Class President" for the class of 2009. It was a good race. A blowout, but a good race.

I am a 6' nothing Caucasian freshman attending Mountain View High School, 215 pounds (that is sub one hundred kilos) and 18% body fat. I play right tackle in football and wrestle at the Junior Varsity level. In the Gods of Rock, my band, I play keyboard. Darkthrone and Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind are my narcotics; Halo 2 my nicotine patch.

My campaign is part of a multi-layered strategy to get into the Naval Academy. First, sports. Shows hard work, dedicatidness. Then, Student Council (I will never call it StuCo). Shows that people can like me in the face of having to deliver bad news. Finally, this website. In three years this will show love of something that, with effort, can turn out nice.

Anyway, my campaign was also multi layered and very thought out. I should preface this by noting that my approach was humor and my two main attributes I contributed were mediocrity and randomness. After getting my initial paperwork turned in, I had to make two by two foot posters.

My first was a simple design. I had the words:
Monogastric.
Bipedal.
Carbon Based.
Robert Kennedy.
in 220 point font. The effect was lost by many who didn't understand the lingo. Simply put, it means that I have one stomach, walk on two feet, and, after inhaling oxygen, breathe out CO2. The actual slogan came from my father who once, to aggravate a student teacher, responded to a question as innocent as "What is your favorite animal and why?" with a satirical "A cat. It is a monogastic quadruped with the added benefit of being carbon based." Again, this saying highlighted my mediocrity.

The second of three posters was based around my name's similarity to a former president and his brother. I had three pics (here, here, and here) as well as a quote from Robert F Kennedy:
"People say I am ruthless. I am not ruthless. And if I find the man who is calling me ruthless, I shall destroy him."
In the center it read:
He isn't John F. Kennedy
But he Might-As-Well-Be

Third was my satirical poster, which had many empty promises, made worse by a downsized disclaimer warning that there were many loophole in my promises. The first such promise was stated as:

He Won’t Raise Taxes.

Note: After election a “Lunch Tax” may or may not come into effect.

Followed by:

He Won’t Take Weekend Trips To His Texas Ranch.

Note: Like all Kennedy’s, his mansion lies in Cape Cod

Then:

He Will Not
Take Lunchtime Bribes.

Note: Cash Bribes Only

Robert Kennedy:

A Practice In Mediocrity

My next thrilling installation will cover the horror that is stickers and why pens make great bribes.

Keep the Honor
Robert Kennedy
Sophomore Class President